


Neighbors mean competition, competition means war, and war means fucking on a dryer

by Keeblo



Series: Basically the best couple in all of the land [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: For a Friend, I REGRET NOTHING, M/M, Porn, ahaha oh god this was only supposed to be a blow job, basically just porn, dave has nape piercings, it escalated quickly, its john with a dick piercing, ladder piercing, nearly 7000 words of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:04:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1710971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keeblo/pseuds/Keeblo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First it's a failed attempt at a blow job. Then the neighbors ask for a competition of who can be the loudest despite the rule of not being loud as fuck after seven. (it's just porn oh god)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neighbors mean competition, competition means war, and war means fucking on a dryer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [timidGoddess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timidGoddess/gifts).



> This was supposed to be for a friend, the lovely stribird on tumblr (or ask-polyamorous-alphabeta-dorks) who has the head canon of John with a ladder piercing, so being the lil shit I am I wrote a lil some some for her :D Which you all should go send her love (it might make me write more jus' sayin) Aye, yeah, so enjoy this 5000+ oneshot of porn.

  
You never thought you'd say this, but you are surprised out of fuck's wit. Of course you knew this was a thing that'd happen eventually (you simply can't deny the Dave Strider charm, come on). But to hear it so blatantly put by your best friend/boyfriend? Not exactly how you expected that one to play out.

"What?"

John shifts on his feet, a little unsure now. "Would you um... ya know...uh."

"Now you stutter? You seemed pretty confident two minutes ago when you walked in here and asked me to suck your dick." You roll your eyes but John's tan face is beginning to look a little red and you have a pretty good feeling it's not because you guys just ran together.

"Well now I'm a little less confident! I was just thinking you know," he motions vaguely with his hands, "we've been dating for a while now and you always say stuff about it so..." Bless his tiny little innocent heart, you think.

"Alright, alright. I heard what you said and I get it. And I mean yeah I wanna do this too. But are you like, sure? I mean that's some great big growing up you're doing Egbert. That's like ten levels of deep with the possibility of snorting semen." That effectively eases the mood and John sits next to you, knees touching yours, his skin still damp with sweat.

"Yeah I'm sure."

To that you nod and stretch your arms over your head. The sun is fading and orange light streams in through the windows, effectively setting the mood for the dick sucking that would surely take place in a moment.

"Alright Egbert, you've got it. I'll suck your dick for you." You clamber onto him with a little less grace than you'd anticipated but try to shimmy him down onto his back on the couch. He's still just as unmoving as a brick wall and his face is starting to rival the red color too. "Dude."

"Sorry! I just...well..." John lies on his back but he's still blushing like a well timed virgin. Which he basically was.

"No backing down now. I am going to suck your dick so hard you'll never be able to have children. Not ever." That makes him laugh and you grin in victory before sidling yourself between his legs. "Come on let's see the goods dude."

"Dave!"

"What? I thought we were doing this. Full steam ahead. Time to devirginize the Egbert family jewels?" John squeaks in an attempt to not laugh, giving you enough time to pull his running shorts down his thighs. As much as you'd hate to say it, seeing John like that was definitely doing it in for Dave junior down between your legs.

"Don't be dumb Dave." John's a little less anxious looking now so you take that as a green light to shimmying off his shorts the rest of the way along with his shoes and finally his underwear.

"Holy fuck." In all of its mighty glory, John's dick stands at semi-hardness and shows off six titanium barbells. If possible his face flushes further.

"What? Don't just stare at me like that!" John's a little flaily and you can't help but burst into laughter. "Dave you're such an ass." That only sets you off into more laughter and you have to pause a moment before you can look at John again.

"It's cool. I'm cool. Just- really? Ladder piercing? Didn't that hurt like a bitch?" John huffs a sigh and shrugs.

"Yeah. I think I actually passed out when I got the first two. But I didn't do it all at once." Licking his lips, John points at the three under the head of his erection. "These are the most recent that I got about eight months ago." You raise an incredulous eyebrow at that.

"How the fuck did you get that without me noticing? I mean we take showers together dude." John rolls his eyes, fingers lingering near his arousal.

"We take showers together _sometimes_. And besides, it's on the underside so unless you saw it while I was ya know, turned on it probably isn't that visible." He has a point. You shrug then and swat his hand out of the way.

"So you went into this knowing that I'd have to suck a dick with those in it? Wow, considerate much?" You mutter as you wrap your hand around John's cock and slowly stroke it. It's a bit nerve racking because you don't know if you'll hurt him because of the piercings. But the way he immediately bites his lip with those god dammed teeth of his, head rolling back to give you the best view of his neck (still shiny with sweat dear god) says it's not bothering him in the least.

You give yourself a mini pep talk before you take your hand away. Despite your reluctance you can't deny how incredibly hot it is to see John's dick swollen pink in arousal and those stupid barbells just pronounce it further.

John mumbles his appreciation when you finally get down to it and lick up his shaft slowly. The area surrounding each barbell is a little further raised, and it creates an almost ribbed feeling as your tongue slides over them. You continue doing that until John's hand is threading through your hair reassuringly as he sits up on his elbows. You let him do that for a few minutes before you finally take the tip of him into your mouth and give an experimental suck. John's groaning his pleasure out between laughs.

"Why are you laughing? Oh my god John stop. This isn't funny what the fuck." That makes John laugh harder and your face flushes because you just don't know why he's laughing.

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm sorry, I just-" he breaks off into more laughter. "My socks are still on and I can see them behind you and jesus."

Wow. Slightly irritated (but also kind of amused because only John would think it was funny he was wearing socks and start laughing while his boyfriend went to town on him) Dave takes John into his mouth until he can feel the first barbell against his lower lip.

For a moment John just kind of stills, but jerks and is right back to laughing and groaning at the same time. You're seriously tempted to just leave his sweaty ass on the couch and go shower until he can calm himself. But sometime while you were plotting to escape his laughter had died off and his fingers had tightened in your hair.

"J-jeez Dave, I didn't realize you could actually do something with your mouth other than say stupid things and drink all of the apple juice." Dear _God_. You stand up sputtering and walk out of the room. John is whining on the couch, but you can tell he's laughing too now and this just isn't happening tonight.

"I'm sorry Dave come on just -- Dave we can try again, Dave -- Da -- oh my god." John's laughing just as hard and you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to stop laughing.

If that was his version of dirty talk you've definitely got a few talks ahead of you.

 

o-o-o-o-o

 

It was two weeks before you guys were able to try again. But unlike the last time it didn't have any forewarning. And it started out because of the apartment next door.  
After your guy's first time trying to do anything even remotely sexual and failing quite badly at that, it had made for an interesting time whenever you showered together or did something with less clothing on. A few of those things included cooking and cleaning.

You have never in your life been able to cook more than scrambled eggs and way under or overcooked pancakes. John on the other hand was like a god in the kitchen and often made meals for you two to share if you didn't decide from something quick that night. So very early in the living arrangement you agreed to do dishes and clean up afterwards if John'd cook. And it worked out pretty well.

John liked it well enough considering you had a bit of a habit to clean without a shirt on and more often now that you don't live with Bro, pants either.

"Yo who has laundry tonight?" You turn from where your arms are elbows deep in hot, sudsy water.

"Um, I think I did them last, but I'll help you tonight. I kinda wanna just go snuggle on the couch for a bit ya know? Maybe watch a movie." So it's one of those nights. Every so often you or John will have a striking urge to just be gross and romantic and overall just touchy feely. You nod and finish up the last few dishes before rinsing out the sinks and drying your hands off on a dry dishcloth.

"Aight. Well I guess come on so we can get this bad boy done. Land of damp clothes and dryers here we come."

John nods and pads over (with quite an attractive bounce you might add) to the laundry room. To help out he immediately takes out the dry clothes to put into a hamper and then puts the damp clothes into the dryer and turns it on. It was the last load that needed done for then so the washer remained empty.

"Eager to get some Dave cuddles huh John?" You tease lightly as he sits himself on top of the dyer. He did have a habit of doing so just because it was warm. Even in 80 degree weather the bastard.

John pfft's, shoulders riding up, and swings his legs. "Maybe. Or maybe it's actually you who's so excited it seems like I'm excited!" He gives one of his large, goofy grins and slumps forward a little bit onto his knees. You roll your eyes good naturedly and pull off your shirt, tossing it at your boyfriend's face. It kind of backfires in that he takes it and sniffs it with a look that could only be described as pure bliss.

"Dude that's weird and creepy on so many levels."

"Is not! You just smell good," he sniffs your shirt again before burying his face in it.

"Yeah I'm sure."

John doesn't bother with a response so you figure that's the best you'll get. So you start taking articles of clothing from the basket one by one and fold or hang them up. The moaning starts about two-thirds of the way through.

At first you look up a little confused as if you'd maybe thought the sound up, but John looking at you in surely the same way says you both heard it.

"Did you...?" You nod your head at his question and step just past him and put your ear against the wall. Another much louder moan is heard and you step back a little in surprise. By then John's covering his mouth with the stupidest grin, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Our neighbors are fucking _loud_." The meaning either way still makes sense and John nods his agreement. "I thought there was a stipulation that said no fucking loud enough your neighbors can hear you after seven. Isn't there a no fucking really loudly after seven rule?" You look at John and he shrugs.

"Maybe we should be louder than them." John is purely joking but your eyes widen a bit and you nod.

"John Egbert you are a genius." He looks like he's about to protest, obviously seeing the mistake he made, but not before you're pressing yourself between his legs; the warmth of the dryer seeping into your thighs.

"Dave, no, don't. I don't wanna get kicked out." You roll your eyes like that's the stupidest thing ever and couldn't possibly happen. Which your sure is true...well if you keep telling yourself that it will become slightly less possible you think. Especially considering the long line of competitiveness with your anonymous neighbors. Like who can turn the TV up the loudest, or who can sing the most hideous rendition of Mulan in the shower. It was kind of ridiculous.

"We won't dude, I promise. I just wanna show these fuckers what they're getting themselves into, fucking that loud next to my apartment." John doesn't comment but you can feel his soft sigh of resignation on your forehead.

"Fine. But I swear Dave if this turns out like before..."

"No way dude, as long as you try not to dirty talk we should be good." John rolls his eyes and cards his fingers through your hair. You lean into his touch with a short hum before he's dropping his hold to the nape of your neck and thumbing lightly over your piercings. When you look up at him his eyes seem a little darker, though humored, and you can tell that his pupils are a fraction bigger.

At that it seems the moaning on the other side of the wall gets louder and you take the initiative to start this train wreck, competitiveness and arousal already sparking. You trail your fingers up John's thighs and stop just short of his crotch. Instead you spread his legs a little more - something you know turns him on, having his legs spread wide for you - and you knead the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. He shudders minutely under your touch.

"Dave..." You lean up to kiss his throat, the vibrations from him speaking an interesting feeling against your lips. The first thing you go for is around his prominent Adams apple, sucking and biting at the area unintelligibly until it's hot against your mouth and bright red. A favorite of yours.

John's hand that had previously just been on your shoulder moves to grip the back of your head in a steady hold as he guides you to where he wants your teeth. The bounce of the dryer makes it a bit shaky as you kiss the underside of his jaw and down to his shoulders before you tug his shirt up so he'll take it off.

When you're both effectively shirtless, you spread your fingers over his skin and kiss his shoulder, his sternum, a peck and then one of his dark nipples. Your tongue traces over one of the hardening nubs and John sighs.

"C'mon Dave, thought you said you were going to make me moan." Cheeky John. Your lips pull up at his sudden interest in the whole idea and you make sure to give him exactly that.

Your fingers find the waistband of his sweats and tug on them until he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull both them off.

"Commando, John?" He looks down at his bare thighs a bit sheepishly.

"What, it's hot." You roll your eyes and drop his sweats to the floor. You rub your hands over his soft skin a bit more before dropping your head and licking his inner thigh. That makes his breath hitch and you know you're on the right track.

John sighs a bit more breathlessly as you slowly press your face closer and closer to his groin, making sure to dot his thighs in bright and simultaneously dark spots.  
By the time you finally get your mouth on him, John is a quiet, but moaning little mess. Like last time John gets his fingers locked into your hair and onto your head, guiding you through the bout of unsureness as you start sucking the tip of his cock.

Your tongue slides flat against the underside of his cock head before your lips are following after and miming a sucking motion on him. Near his base your hand works, pumping him into full hardness. The heat being emitted off of his body is making your face flush as his groans start to pick up until his head is rolled forward on his chest and there's a steady stream of 'fuck', 'Dave', and other garbled nonsense.

You pull off of him to kiss the underside of his arousal; the sight of him swollen and those silver barbells seems to turn you on again but you're still a little wary of them. Though this time it doesn't stop you from deliberately licking John and pressing your tongue a little rougher over the ridge above each piercing. As you do that your fingers massage his balls before moving further down and you rub the pad of two fingers on the smooth skin of his perineum.

"D-Dave," John whines just a fraction, trying to guide your mouth back onto him. You let up and allow him to do so. The feeling of the first metal barbell on your lower lip is odd this time around too as you slowly work your way down his shaft, tongue still rubbing against the underside of his dick. Then you're moving past the first piercing and the second is taking its place on your lip.

Admittedly, the feeling is weird where your tongue can feel the metal, but it's easily bearable and you take more of him into your mouth with greater ease. By the time you've worked four into your mouth you've got more than half of John's arousal in your mouth and the barbells create a stimulus against your tongue.

Both of you seem contented with the current position so you bob your head up and down, the small balls that come out of the piercings making your tongue tingle in an unfamiliar, yet good way. It seems you're not the only one enjoying it if John's sudden rise in moaning said anything. That's when you're pretty sure the real competition begins.  
You can suddenly hear the sound of something hitting the wall - those fucking shit faces were doing it for show now, you're sure.

You hadn't even noticed you had significantly picked up pace on John, hand and mouth both suddenly moving much quicker, until John's shaking you before there's something foreign in your mouth and you pull back surprised. His ejaculate manages to catch on your lips and chin from your sudden movement.

"Fuck, Dave, why'd you go so fast?" John's voice is quiet and he leans forward with slowly ebbing breaths, face flushed beautifully and a slick sheen of sweat on his skin.

"Shit sorry I didn't realize that I was doing it." John simply shakes his head and looks at you. His eyes immediately drop to where there's cum on you and he wipes it off with his thumb, gives it a bit of an unsure look before seeming to decide and pushing his thumb into your mouth. If his coming in your mouth had surprised you it was nothing compared to suddenly having his finger in your mouth in an act that clearly shows his arousal.

You do lick the liquid from his finger though, sucking on the digit for a moment before he's pulling it back and leaning forward to kiss you hungrily. His tongue is immediately in your mouth and tasting you on your own tongue, the roof of your mouth, your lips.

Though your guy's attempt at besting the neighbors seems to have ended the douche sticks still continue unhindered, though with a note of satisfaction, you can tell they're quickly nearing their end too.

"We can still best 'em Dave." You look up a little surprised at the words, meeting blue eyes.

"You're young and gorgeous John, but I'm pretty sure even your refractory period is at least three minutes." John rolls his eyes like you're the dumbest thing to have ever happened to him and shakes his head.

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of hm," his fingers trail down your chest, "you giving it a go." If being a highly functioning teenager at one point said anything you were not exactly that loud during anything. But especially things that involved your dick (unless said thing was being kicked, hit, or other painful activities).

Still you give it a thought and seriously, the ache in your boxers is making you want to say yes. John seems to take that as a good enough answer and hops off the dryer before padding out of there. That asshole. You stare at him as he continues down the short hall to the kitchen where he turns before disappearing for a minute. You are clearly about to just deal and finish the laundry when he comes back with a small bottle.

"Oh." Oh. Both your mouth and brain seem to be on the same page. John gives a little eyebrow wiggle before grinning at you.

"We're going to be louder than our neighbors Dave, I swear it." The simple declaration seems to only turn you on more, a shiver passing over your skin.

"Yeah, alright." John crowds you against the dryer again and kisses you, slowly relaxing you until he turns you around and bends you over the damn thing. As if that wasn't even more arousing. He rolls his hips against yours slowly causing you to feel the slight hardening of his dick pressed against you. Well that was quick.

"Drop em Dave." God does he sound like some kind of perv or a sexy cop and you can barely hold back laughter or a moan, you're not quite sure which. But you comply and tug down and step out of your boxers. Now you're both naked in the laundry room getting ready to fuck so you can one-up your stupid neighbors.

You shift your weight against the dryer and wait for John to do something. Anything at all, really. But all you get is silence and the quietest thump that you're not entirely sure what it is. When his hands are spreading you you give an alarmed shriek and instantly smack your hand over your mouth with wide eyes. Even the noises from the other side of the wall seem to pause a beat.

"Jesus what are you do-oh, oh my god what why I can't even holy fucking shit." John had elbowed your legs a little further apart and stuck his face right up against you and licked you. It was surprising, perhaps even more so with how utterly hot his tongue was. John keeps up despite your outburst though, tongue prodding at and essentially fucking you open. Which you suppose should be disgusting but dear-fucking-god it just turns you on that he would seriously put his mouth on you, _damn_ , in you.

But it's quickly over as fast as it had started and John's standing up and pressing flush against your back. You hear the sound of that bottle's lid being opened before realizing he's saying something to you.

"What?"

"Are you still okay with this?" There's a pause from him though his hips are rolling against your ass again in complete disregard.

"Fuck yes I'm okay with this. Put your stupid dick in me already and let's show those dick wads who has the better lay here." You hear a snort and John sets the little bottle of lube on the top of the dryer. It falls over from the bouncing and you put it in your hand so you don't end up with lube to clean up later just as John's fingers are at your entrance, warm and slick and _fuck_.

You nod and move in the slightest towards him to encourage him. Finally after a few beats he's pressing the tip of a finger in you, causing an odd feeling but you continue to move towards him. He moves his finger into you slowly, stretching you open until he's up to the knuckle in you. Behind your ear you can hear John mumbling something so you tip your head back until his shoulder is firm underneath your head. His mouth quickly finds the strained tendons pulled taut from the action and works matching red bruises into your skin until you're gasping a little bit from your lack of air, which you realize, is because of your undeniably loud moaning. That surprises you and you flush in embarrassment. If John notices he doesn't say anything. Instead he moves to kiss your shoulder.

"God, I love your freckles Dave." As John says the words he starts pressing another finger into you giving the yet again odd feeling. It works in quicker though and is soon starting to feel very nice if you might add.

John's doing something, some sort of crooking of his fingers towards your pelvis and you're about to ask why when his fingers pass over something that gives an extra little tingle in your stomach.

"Oh," you blink a little at the wall and test out canting your hips back. John takes the hint and continues that same motion over the spot that adds a pressure almost in your stomach and it's undeniably heady as you rest on your forearms.

John kisses your shoulders and back as he works in a third finger- you absolutely let out the most horrifyingly loud moan as you start to feel very filled. And he seems to have used enough lube and was gentle enough that there isn't much other than a slightly uncomfortable feeling of being stretched but no actual pain.

"Fuck, John just," you motion a little wildly with your hands that you hope he understands. He seems to at least and pulls his fingers out of you before taking the lube back from your hands.

"Do you want me to go get a condom?"

You shake your head and try to ignore the feeling of the dryer vibrating against you in a way that kind of makes you want to hump it. That, you think, should wait until you're alone at least.

"No just _god_ , if you don't put your stupid dick in me right now I'm going to explode or hump this stupid dryer John." That elicits a loud bark of laughter from John and he hands you back the lube.

"O-kay Dave, jeez just give me a sec." One of his hands finds your hip and you hold your breath. You have no idea how this is supposed to feel with those dick piercings and it's making you a bit anxious.

"Calm down Dave, okay? I've got you." John murmurs into your hair and kissing the back of your head before you feel the tip of his arousal at your entrance. He pushes in with the utmost care but you still gasp a little at the feeling. Not as wide as his fingers were, but his girth definitely was something to be praised. You had to admit John had a horse dick. An unbelievable horse dick that came straight out of the porno's. Though it wasn't ridiculously long, it was six and a half inches of thick, every gay guys dream, dick.

"Doing okay?" You nod your head. So far so good. There's just the slightest discomfort again that seems to overwhelm until you feel the first barbell at your hole. You do hold your breath then and chew your lip as it's pressed in. It's the faintest moment of extra before it's gone again, and that feeling happens five more times.

By the time John's fully seated in you the neighbors moans not only have gone down by nearly half, you're shaking and moaning softly against the too warm dryer. After a few moments of charged silence and a nod from you, John starts to move his hips slowly and dear god you have to admit that feels fucking great.

There's a slightly odd feeling simply because of the barbells but it's a weird extra stimulus and then it's against that spot again in you that makes you shudder and moan deep, low.

"Jesus, I think I have a size kink." You burble out the words slowly without any real recognition of doing so. Then it hits you that you're pretty sure you do. It wasn't just that John had his dick in you and was essentially fucking you, no, the fact that something that big was in you and pressing deliciously at your walls turned you on. And maybe it was only in your mind but you think there might be a little bulge in your stomach from the girth.

"Shut up Dave, oh my god this is not the time to talk about that." John's breath is warm against your neck, his previously occupied hand moving to your shoulder, thumb rubbing into your skin. Shut up you do do though. Or at least with making coherent words. Your moaning picks up greatly until your throat burns a bit from the constant shift from rumbling to keening.

Within a short span of time John has picked up pace and is rolling his hips into you expertly until you're sure you're in time with the machine below you. There's a swell of heat in your lower abdomen that you know from experience isn't nearly what it will be when you're close to orgasming, but your take relish in it anyway as you roll your hips back against John's.

His entire body is covering yours from head to toe and you bask in the heat even if it is especially warm in the apartment with it.

"Fu-uck John I know you can go faster than that. Break me, Jesus Christ..." you mutter, your head dropping unceremoniously against the dryer. John's hand is immediately moving from your shoulder to the nape of your neck to hold you down firmly, thumb on your piercings in a way that makes you shiver profusely.

"You're so needy Dave jeez," John's voice has wonderfully dropped to a much lower, growling tone and you breathe out shakily because wow, yet again turned on. He does however comply to your request and pulls back before snapping his hips forward much more vigorously. Your 'oh's and 'fuck's get bumpy as if you were driving on a dirt road between the force of John's fucking and the vibrations of the dryer.

That's when you notice it's silent on the other side of the wall. Though you can't really bother to care about that right now what with your boyfriend ravaging you so nicely against a household appliance.

Then the moaning starts up again.

This time it's lower though and you can't help but think it kind of resembles your own. In the span of time that you were thinking that your moans had turned to full out spiels of incoherent babbling and a constant thrum of John, John, John, yes, yes, yes.

You briefly thank God for dick piercings and John Egbert when you notice the subtle shift in your stomach. The kind that makes you tilt your hips and hold as still as possible so the sudden burst of extra pleasure doesn't go away. That's when you know you're going to come. And John seems to realize it too as his speed slows down considerably.  
Your eyes nearly roll back into your head as you grip the side of the dryer and cry out. The pleasure doesn't go away, it just takes away the sudden rise and clench in your stomach of it coming sooner. Instead it drops into a burning heat pooling in you.

John leans down effectively draping himself over you as he fucks leisurely into your passage as if you weren't just on the brink of the most mind blowing orgasm of your life. You definitely can't be bothered with the loud moans coming from through the wall then. It's when the mood shifts and you realize that John's making love to you rather than just fucking you. And it honestly makes you croon just a little.

"God Dave you're so beautiful. Somehow you cheated the universe and were born a star on earth." Oh dear lord John was being so sweet and romantic.

"I like to -- hah, think of myself as more a uh demon spawn or - fuck, yes - maybe a bird just casually flyin' 'round and shitting on people." You reach back to take John's hand from your hip and twine your fingers with his. His breath is hot against your ear and you turn your head so you can kiss him. Then your body does a weird jerk like thing and you moan long and heady, hips already starting the circular motion that happens right before you orgasm.

"John 'm gonna fucking bust a nut in a second, Jesus why did we think fucking against the dryer would be a good idea?" Your voice shakes a bit as you speak. John shrugs it off with a slight snort and slows his pace further but thrusts much more roughly into you. You positively whimper as he catches your mouth with his again, teeth tugging at your lips and tongue prodding against your own.

"S'okay Dave. I've got you." You swear to God that that is the stupidest most god damn cheesy yet romantic thing you've ever heard him say even though it's the second time he's said it that evening alone and for some reason it makes your eyes water in just the slightest. You try to ignore it by kissing him back and closing your eyes but John seems to have different plans. Out of nowhere it seems he pulls out his phone and you seriously want to object because no way he was getting pictures while you are sexed up and about to friggen cry because of stupid emotions and a _dick_ in your ass.

But he just continues like it's not weird and you can't really bring yourself to object because his cock is thrusting directly into you in the most perfect way and you're fully blissed out as the heat in your stomach hits a crescendo. You look at John a bit helplessly just to see him looking right back at you and not the phone and you can't help the slow shudder that racks your body right before you're coming. Your eyes close and the top half of your spine curves out, your fingers curling against the red of the dryer, eyes squeezing tight enough that some of the water that had welled in them leaks out.

When your orgasm is over you take a few moments to simply breathe, John still fucking into you slowly. The moans from the other side of the wall seems to catch both of their attentions at once to which John gives him a quirked eyebrow before Dave nods tiredly.

John outwardly fucks you then, hands back on your hips. Despite your tiredness and overall urge to just collapse and sleep or cuddle for a bit, you're moaning escalates again to rival the neighbors. The mood seems to shift again and you're hands are on the side of the dryer not to keep you from orgasming, but to steady yourself as John fucks you relentlessly, his own heavy breathing loud behind you.

"Fuck, Dave!" John's orgasm is sudden like the last one and John's roar of a moan it seems completely drowns out Dave's and the neighbor's. He slumps against you then, breath cooling the sweat on the back of your neck, body heavy and warm.

When there's silence from the other side of the wall you revel in victory silently as you catch your breath again too. You feel over sensitive and shivery, cool even, but it feels nice and you bask in the afterglow of a great lay with your boyfriend. A few moments later when you both have recollected John stands fully and pulls out of you, and the feeling of semen slowly makes itself known to you.

You can't even bother to grumble then or when John grabs a clean rag to wipe you clean, fingering you open again to get as much of the ejaculate out as possible considering you were in no mood to bathe right then.

"C'mon cutie." You roll your eyes at John at let him take your hand and both your boxers and his sweats with him to the living room, wiping a few of the tears that had leaked out onto your cheeks away.

When you're lying slack against the arm of the couch he shuffles your boxers back on you and then pulls on his own sweats. Then he grabs a remote and sits next to you, stretching behind you before pulling you partially on and against him. You take solace in his warm chest still damp with sweat against yours and cuddle back against him.  
He simply rubs his fingers over your stomach in soothing circles as he breathes into your hair while he turns on a movie. Surprisingly he turns on a horror and you mumble disapprovingly under your breath before taking his hand and bringing it to your lips to kiss it. You're just so full of feelings and sentimentality right then that you have to turn partially just so you can kiss him slow and sweet on the mouth.

"Say cheese Dave." John grins and pecks you again before pulling his phone yet again out of nowhere it seems and holds it above you guys. A selfie? Seriously? You and John have a lot of things you need to talk about. But you give John the satisfaction of one picture before burying your face against his chest and flipping the phone off. His laughter rumbles deep in his chest where your head lies and you sigh warmly. It's pleasant.

"You're so nice Dave." John gathers you in his arms seeming to have the same overwhelming desire to just touch as well and simply holds you, touching you everywhere with feather light fingers before kissing your forehead and letting you turn to see the movie as it passes the beginning credits.

You both watch movies and cuddle the rest of the evening, though the selection is primarily horrors until the end when there's a romance and then some cartoons. You end up plastered to John for the rest of that time and up into the next morning, groaning when he gets up to go to the bathroom.

After that you suppose there's just an overabundance of touching. And that is perhaps what makes it even more awkward when you guys leave the next morning clean and dressed and bump into your neighbors leaving too. At which you scowl profusely.

In the hall the other blond and the brunet stare right back. John seems to flush just a little before scratching the back of his head, smiling, and holding out his hand to shake. The brunet takes it and gives it a shake.

"Uh, nice to meet you guys...so you're our neighbors." John's grin falters a little as he says the words and you simply rolls your eyes and slip your hand into John's. Awkward or not you wanted food and John promised you a morning after breakfast courtesy of all the horrors he made you endure just so you'd cuddle with him more. You kind of hope you bump into a clown just to freak him out.

"Yeah, so cool. This is great and all but we've gotta go." You try not to sound too rude and especially try not to eye the blond with shades because that would spell trouble you're sure.

"Dave!" John smacks your arm and you roll your eyes before tugging him towards the elevator, him waving over his shoulder without really realizing they would also be on the elevator. So it leads to a semi terse silence until the doors open on the lobby floor and you drag John out of the elevator with a short 'later' to the neighbors. God why them. But John spoils you with food and more sappy romantic sex and blow jobs later so you guess it's okay. Though the loud fucking didn't happen anymore and you more than gratefully jump John's dick if he doesn't have it covered at any given time.

You'd like to thank God yet again for John and dick piercings.

**Author's Note:**

> **I forgot to add that I do take requests if you ever want me to write you anything, which you can get a hold of me through comments or tumblr which is keeblochan** uh yeah so that's that I guess nwn As stated before this is for stribird on tumblr so go send things there (like love only otherwise i will find you and strangle you) :3 hopefully more to come. And on a sidenote for anyone who's read Ballet!stuck, that is in progress and the next chapter should be out soon. Other than that have a great day or whatever. *Note that I have no idea the mechanics of dick piercings or sex with them so...yeah*


End file.
